There’s a song by Tree63 called “Now My Eyes Are Open” that starts off:
- You opened up my ears to hear
The imperfections of my heroes
And those I held up to the sun
Are cracked and broken, every one
They spoke words of fire
They held my desire
But just because they look like You
Doesn’t mean they honour You…
I have been shown time and time again how we are not put our trust, our hope, in other people. I don’t even mean that in a pessimistic sort of way; God designed us to need and desire friendships. But to base our happiness, our hope, our joy, on the actions of another human, or even – especially – ourselves, is foolishness, and it is a mistake that I have made too many times. I have trusted people with my emotions, and every time I have been disappointed in some way. I have trusted myself to respond appropriately to those hurts, and again, I have very frequently disappointed myself. So quickly human relationships can disintegrate into back biting, revenge, and lies, even within the Church. We are not to base our image of God on any man or woman, no matter how godly they might seem.
So after time and time of being hurt, I ask God what His Will is. Will you show me, God? Will You give me a sign? A prompting in my spirit? A Word spoken in season by your messenger? And all of these things He has done for me in times past, but He does not seem to be doing that now. He has told me that He will show me His Will, so I keep hounding Him like a 4 year old hounds his parents when he wants something from them when they’ve told him to just wait. His response to me has been to wait, let Him make my paths straight, and He will show me His salvation. It is not exactly the silence of God, because He simply told me to wait, and to walk the path He has set before me.
Pastor gave a message today about how even though we may have moved past certain hurts or failures in our past, too often we don’t move beyond them. The reason we don’t always see where we are going is because we are always looking in the rear view mirror. We can only see the road in front of us if we’re looking in front of us. As Pastor said, isn’t God bigger than our past, than the wounds we’ve received, than the mistakes we’ve made?
In the end, He has simply reminded me of Psalm 46:10. “Be still, and know that I am God.”